here's to you.

this is for you - the one who helped me make it to the fourth grade. the one who used to call me her twin. the one who shared in boys chase girl recesses, and playing horses with broomsticks. the one who gave me childhood at its finest.
this is for you - the girl i hated at first, the one i couldn't stand. the one who became like a sister. the one i first experienced alcohol with. first experienced boys with. the one with whom i used to be insperable. we were unstoppable, as well as somewhat stuck-up and a little self-absorbed, but we had each other. it didn't matter what happened with anyone else, because we always had each other. you were my rock. you were my naughty other half. you were my first true best friend, someone who existed on a deeper level. you were my sister in christ as well, we grew together. our opinions changed but our friendship withstood it all. you were unforgettable.
this is for you - the girl who surprised me, who came out of nowhere and taught me what it feels like to embrace yourself. to have your own style and not care what anyone else thinks. this is for the one who got me through my senior year of high school, who was there for everything whether she agreed or not. this is for the one who made me smile on a regular basis, a ray of sunshine in the middle of stuck up classmates and people who were out to bring you down. you were constant music. you were amazing. we were very different, but somehow we were perfect.
and this is for you - the girl who used to hate my guts for flirting with her boyfriend, but somehow caught me when i least expected it. who made me alive and care-free again, able to do anything, try anything. this is for the girl who was always a phone call away. the girl i spent the summer practially live with one place or another. this is for the girl who is greater than what she knows. the girl who made my summer. the one who turns even the most boring days into wonderful memories, with silly faces, giggles and smiles. here's to feeling like a kid again, without worry, free to run.

this is for all of you - former best friends. some of whom have been long gone from my life, some of whom i know we can still talk like we used to - even if the times are few and far between, some of whom i still miss, and some of whom i am unsure where our friendship lies. it happens to all of us. we all find those people - the ones who really understand us, or maybe - its the people who bring something new to the table. something out of the ordinary, something different from the other friends we cherish. they bring us adventure. they bring us new horizons, and unexplored venues. they bring us spirit - a spark we didn't even know existed inside of us. they get to us in a way that no one else does. it doesn't have to be serious, but we can forget about the world and simply live. we love them. we attach ourselves to them. and we call them our best friends. and eventually, a year or two, or mabye five or six later - they disappear. gradually, or rather suddenly, soon we discover that we are left without them. and there is a hole waiting to be replaced, by that next dazzling person...

i think the term "best friend" should be more carefully used. my mother always told me you should always have more than one best friend, i thought that was silly. but its true, because then we find ourselves comparing friends. and by putting that tiny little word in front categorize someone as the greatest, the most important, when really that's usually not the case. we need more than one person to guide us. to spend time with. to share our hearts. to explore with. to grow with. to be there for, and have a shoulder to cry on in return. more than one person makes us who we are. we owe ourselves, our saniety, our honesty - to our friends. and we should not place one above the other in terms. for each of them holds a place that the others can't. they all are the "best" in some way. and it is unfair to ignore that.

i am grateful for all of my best friends. but i am also grateful for all the others, in fact sometimes more than the previously mentioned. i have so many friends who have changed my life. i wish i could name them all, but i don't think i could them justice in so short a space. my friends are indescribable. there are no words to say how incredibly blessed i am to have so many amazing people in my life - so many people who would do anything for me, who are there for me when i need it the most, who know the depths of my heart, who really understand who i am. we need more than one person to see inside of us. we need more than one hand to hold. we need more than one smile to seek. we need people. so many people... and i am moved to tears at how blessed i feel to have each and every one of them in my life.

so here is to you - the people who care. the ones who impact me without even knowing it. the ones who i love with all my heart. the ones i would do anything for. this is for the ones who have touched me so deeply, that i will never be able to express my gratitude. thank you for being there. thank you for making me a better person. thank you for teaching me things. thank you for forcing me to step outside the box. to grow. to do things i didn't think i could do. thank you for listening to my tears. thank you for being the laughter. the adventure. the fun. the party. the servant. the brother/sister in christ. the giver. the listener. the helper. the guy, the girl - who makes my days brighter. who makes me smile with a text. with a phone call. this is for all of you - each and every one of you. you have changed my life.