this is our lives.

"It happens to everyone as they grow up... you find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that the people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. And so you keep the memories but find yourself moving on."

do you ever wonder, if ten years from now you will even talk to the people you now consider your "best friends"? do you ever wonder where will you be in ten years, what you will be doing? will you be married? will you have kids? will you be "successful"? will you look back and wish for the past, or will you be happy in the present, will you be looking towards the future? will you be happy?

the future is unknown. no matter how much we pre-plan, and set goals for ourselves, for where we want to be in the future. our lives can change in a matter of an instant. in a moment, you can decide to change the course of your life. in a moment, you can alter your future. we don't know where we will be ten years from now, twenty years from now. we can hope for this or that, or assume that we will get "real jobs", and have a family... but in reality, God might have something else in the cards for us. and you have to realize that whatever that is, He is going to use you, and He is going to work through whatever the future brings to work for His glory.

my friend laura and i were discussing life yesterday. with the looming question of whether or not i will still be attending msu - mankato next fall, we were contemplating how things change, and how fast. this year some of our closest friends here are graduating, and will we stay in touch with them? already we have seperated from our high school friends, and had to deal with those losses, or at least the change of not seeing them on a daily basis. and now, we will be asked to do it again. the cycle never really ends. and regardless of whether or not i transfer, i am going to have to keep dealing with ever-changing friendships. we both feel the same about it, we hate it. we hate saying goodbye to people. we hate not knowing if the connection will be maintained, or if it will evaporate over time. we love our friends. we never want to let any of them go. and yet, we have to keep holding onto the truth - God uses changes for the good. without them, we would never get anywhere. and i know i said this last time, but i really believe that friendships can last through changes, but you have to be willing to fight for them. when distance comes between people, and they continue to grow as individuals apart from each other, the friendship takes work. but its worth it, i know that for a fact. if want someone to continue to be a part of your life, you have to hold on to them, you have to fight for them, you have to show them that you care, that letting go is not an option. change will end some friendships. time, and distance are too much for some people to handle. and in the process, sometimes you discover that some friends aren't worth fighting for, and some might just slip away. that's a part of life. and new friends will enter in when you least expect it, but hold on to the old ones too - hold on to your lifesavers. hold on to the people who know your past, your present, and who you want to be a part of your future.

i don't know what next year is going to bring for me. either way, it will seperate me from people i love -those i already am away from, or the friendships i have here. either way, its going to be hard. if i stay it might take me awhile to understand why God still wants me here, because i don't love it, and coming back here break after break always is hard. yet if i go, i will once again have to rely on God to put in my path people who will encourage me - i will be starting all over yet again, and thats not going to be easy either. no matter what happens, God has a plan. God has a purpose for my life, and wherever i end up i have to believe that He is going to use that to teach me, to allow me to grow in His image, and bring me closer to the person i want to be. change can hurt us, change can tear us apart, but change can also bring us closer to God, and closer to who we are striving to become. every day is a new choice to live to the fullest. every day our future can change in an instant. every day God is directing our footsteps.