you can't please everyone.

"the people that have known you the longest know you in a way that other people can't because they've seen you change, they've let you change."

i seem to have a habit at slacking off at this blog. it's not intentional, i swear... just one of those things. we'll try and bring it back into focus here. i know at least one person will appreciate it! ;) since my last update LOTS of stuff has gone down in my life. [by that i mean, has happened]

i have been working a lot, which i absolutely hate. it's my sixth summer working there and i'm just over the whole scene. i sit in a little room for almost 12 hours a day, and run a cash register - basically, do absolutely nothing. which is sweet, cuz i'm getting paid for it but i'm reaching a point in my life where i would like to be doing something that requires a little more skill. or uses a little more energy. or exercises my brain in at least some way. not to mention, all this drama is going down. oh did i mention i'm the supervisor? yea... so i get to deal with all of it. basically the girls i'm in charge of are not happy. making the schedule for july is going to be impossible. i wish i could just let someone else deal with it. i hate drama, and i'm not going to play into it. my life quote lately has become :: "you can't please everyone." :)

other than that... I GOT AN APARTMENT IN GREELEY!!!!! things are becoming real now. yes, for those of you who don't know i chose greeley, co as my next place of education - University of Northern Colorado! i went down a couple weekends ago - left at 6 o'clock in the morning. was home by ten at night. apartment in the bag! it was such a God thing, i can't even tell you. my landlord is absolutely amazing. he showed us around town. took me and my mom out to lunch. made us coffee before we hit the road. its a one bedroom apartment in a triplex, like a house. (a 55ish year old couple lives on the top, and a 40 year old single guy lives in one side of the basement, i live on the other) i'm stoked. its in a nice neighborhood, not as close to campus as i would have wanted but its somewhere that i'm going to feel safe - and that i think is important in a town and an area that i know absolutely NOTHING about. God provides, and its amazing. did i mention that my landlord's wife is hopefully getting me a job? she manages payless and they sent me an application in the mail a couple days ago! so hopefully it works out :)

AS FOR MY FRIENDS: there are times when we all get a little crazy - we drink too much beer, sing at the top of our lungs, stay awake until the sun is rising, laugh until our sides hurt, and take hundreds of pictures. and yet, underneath all the chaos, there are relationships that will last. conversations in the dark, secrets shared, and bonds of trust made. and after a night has ended, morning comes and you appreciate your friends. not because they know how to party, but because they know how to be there when it matters. everyone gets a little crazy sometimes, but in the midst of the mayhem of life and all it throws at you - there are those friends who will never back down. who will always show up. who will always be there; open arms and open ears.

i love my friends. i basically have been hanging out with the same people on a daily basis, and its been awesome. i've been neglecting some other people but sometimes i just can't handle the drama. recently i realized that i would much rather spend my summer, and my time here, with people who have remained constants through the last couple years, people who i know are still going to be there, people who actually care about who i am as a person. why waste my time with those who are only friends when its convenient? and especially those people who get upset when i don't see them, who get mad over the dumbest things. so i have been choosing to just not hang out with those people, and yea they are pissed - but i can't please everyone. and frankly i'm having a blast filling my time with those i have been seeing. so yea... the summer is going great.

the only complaint i have is not spending more time with God. me and my friend liz got this book for a bible study - its called "sex and the soul of a woman". deals with sex in today's society and the pressures of engaging in sexual activities with men. something we both struggle with, so we thought it would be a good pick. :) we've both been reading it on our own but still have yet to get together and go through the study part of it. which sucks. idk why, but its so hard to stay focused on God during the summer - i guess there is always a million things to do and He gets put on the back burner. the other day i was really feeling convicted about it, and went and spent a couple hours in the park just reading my bible and journaling. felt so good. it just hurts me to know that i'm not giving Him the attention He deserves, and that i'm struggling as a result. i NEED God. and i want to be focusing on Him. and i just hope that the rest of the summer gets a little stronger in that area. we will see, me and liz are definitely making an effort!

well folks, ta ta for now! i have the day off and its sunny out so i'm gonna get some rays! considering it has rained literally EVER DAY this month. who knows how long it will last today. hopefully i will do this again soon, until then. loves.