Peace Be With You.

John 14:27 "I'm leaving you peace. I'm giving you my peace. I don't give you the kind of peace that the world gives. So don't be troubled or cowardly."

I walk toward a vast ocean - overwhelmed by the incomprehensible landscape. There is nothing but blue-green. The waves are crashing against the shore. The water dips and rolls -- hiding and taking away the things I will never know or never see. It is ominous and peaceful all once. I get lost in the beauty of a seeming forever, wondering what is on the other side. How deep is this ocean? I want to explore its hidden caverns and meet its extraordinary creatures. I want to be a part of this world. Ariel longed to walk on land, and I long to drown in the sea. I walk toward a vast ocean -- wanting to dive in, but instead, stand hesitantly on the shoreline.

I let the water brush against my toes. I am surprised at how cool and refreshing it feels. I step a little further, venture a little farther. I let the water rise to my calves. I close my eyes and take it all in. The water has seen distant shorelines. The water has evaporated and come again. The water is a part of a greater plan that I cannot understand. Water keeps people alive. Why should I be scared of it? With my eyes still closed, I let the water reach my waist. The temperature is taking over my body. I can barely feel anymore. I am numb to the world around me. All that matters is the water. I take a deep breath. I stop thinking. I dive in.

How often do we let the looming unknown dictate our willingness to dive in? Just because we can't see the bottom or the opposing shoreline doesn't mean we won't make it through the exploration. We must be willing to have faith. We must be willing to jump even without knowing where we will fall. For, God is the water. He holds secrets and avenues waiting to be explored, waiting to be discovered. We only come to know them when we allow ourselves to drown in His presence. Take the step to be a part of His world. There are people you have yet to meet. Miracles you have yet to see. Opportunities you have yet to discover. And they're all there - in the water - the water of life.

It's a process. Finding the courage to get in - all the way in. We get cold feet, we're scared of the way it feels, because we are no longer in control. But that's the beautiful thing about it. We don't have to be in control. By choosing to dive in, we surrender control to the One who knows a plan far greater than anything we could ever imagine. We cannot swim on our own, but through God, we are giving the strength to reach shores we never even knew existed. This is the only time where drowning is a good thing - an eternal thing. When we choose to drown ourselves in the Holy Spirit, it is only then that we can truly live. There will be dangers and trials - times when we feel like giving up. But God will remain faithful. We must let go of the world we know and surrender ourselves to the Truth, the Life, the Way.

I walk toward a vast ocean. I have been here before. I remember the way the sand felt on my toes, the warmth of its caress. I want to stay here but I know I must continue on. The warmth will fade, and the sand will blow away, but the water will continue to come in and out with the tide. I step in and remember its refreshment. It chills me to the bone. I want more. I walk forward, letting my body become immersed. I am unsure where I will find the strength to continue on, but I know that I must. Water gives life, and I am searching for the only life that matters. The only life that has ever mattered - life in the Holy Spirit.

I want to be immersed in His love and everlasting faithfulness. I want to surrender the comfortable for the unknown. I want to swim freely in His promises. I will only find strength when I lose myself. And so, I dive in.

A Quick Update.

Dear Friends,
Perhaps you have been wondering where I've been. Perhaps not. Either way, I am here to give you a quick update on my life. I have missed you all greatly! I have been wanting to blog so bad. My computer crashed two weeks ago, however, so I have not had the means by which to do so. I have not forgotten about you. Just the only time I am near a computer is when I am engrossed in the library - working on schoolwork. I graduate in less than two weeks. Life is insane. I have checked out mentally from school, yet still have tons to accomplish. I barely have time to write for fun, and when I do, it is stolen moments in my journal during classes. I am ready for life to slow down, for summer to come, and to reconnect with all of you find people and your lovely blogs. I have not only been a bad blogger lately; I have been a bad follower. I apologize.

In terms of my future, I thought I had it all figured out. Isn't that the way it works? You have your life the way you think you want it and then your whole world turns upside down. God has been rocking my world lately - placing people and situations in my path that have made me stop and question what it is I really do want. More accurately, what it is that He wants for me. I was planning on going home this summer. I had even started packing last week. And in a matter of days, I felt like God was pulling on my heart. It's still up in the air but it is looking as if I may be spending a few more months in Colorado - starting with the summer. I will keep you updated. But as someone recently told me, even staying here can be a new chapter if that is God's plan - spiritually as well as socially.

I am trying to trust completely. To push my desires and hesitations aside and trust that God will provide a means to stay if this is where He wants me. For we all know - He knows what is best and His plans are far greater than anything we could ever imagine. Falling on my knees, I am offering Him my future. I will be waiting patiently to see where He leads me. Graduation is a huge step in its own right, and its scary not knowing what to do next. Our entire lives are founded on the principle of school - its all we know and then, one day, it all ends. Some people know for sure what that next step is, others of us may spend several years trying to figure it out. All I know is that its a step of faith. I may not know, but God always does - He always will.

I hope to be back to my regular postings sooner than later. Until then, be blessed. Be encouraged. Have faith in God's greater plan. Don't give up hope. Pray without ceasing. Trust, even when you're unsure what it is you're trusting Him to do. God will supply all your needs, according to His purpose and His glory.

Love you all.

Words of Hope.

"God wants us just as we are - no pretense. He can handle our emotions and our doubts. He wants a real relationship." - Ginny L. Yttrup, Words

Is it possible for a book to find you? I stopped by Borders Thursday because the one here where I live is going out of business. I pick up the book Words by Ginny L. Yttrup simply becasue of the title and the picture on the cover. Then I flipped it over, and the first sentence read: "I collect words." I recently wrote the exact same sentence in a story I am writing for my fiction class. I know its a simple sentence, and not highly original, but it caught my attention just the same. On further reading, I discovered the story sounded not only intriguing but it was founded on the foundation of Jesus Christ - this was a story of hope. Naturally, I bought it. Still, I was unprepared for what awaited me amongst the pages.

The book deals with sexual abuse, in the form of a little girl. If that's not heartbreaking, I don't know what it is. But its the way the story pans out - how she is rescued, not only by a young woman, but also by the love of Jesus. And how, she in turn also rescues the young woman as the young woman puts her trust in God in order to help the little girl. It tells the Truth without being overbearing. Its a novel with undertones of God's hope, love, and redemption. It's been awhile since I've read a book that I couldn't put down. Partly because I rarely have time for reading anymore, and also because I just haven't been hooked by a book in awhile. I started Words last night. I finished it this morning. I feel touched, prodded, and renewed. I continue to be amazed at the ways God speaks to me when I need it most. How someone else's story can help me with my own. How the words of fiction can bring me to a place of seeking the Truth - the truth of God's word.

Romans 8:23b - 25 says this: "We groan as we wait for our adoption, the freeing of our bodies, from sin. We were saved with this hope in mind. If we hope for something we already see, it's not really hope. Who hopes for what can be seen? But if we hope for what we don't see, we eagerly wait for it with perserverance." Verses 26 - 28 also spoke to me this morning, but I want to share my heart with you, especially in terms of the first verse. We are all waiting to be loved, to be taken in, to find a home. God calls us as His children. We are adopted into His kingdom, not because of who we are, but because of who He is. He holds the keys to freedom. From anything! No sin is too big, too dark, too painful, for God to wash away. That's something I constantly have to remind myself of. God gives me hope, even if I can't understand why. I don't know what my future will hold, but I know that it can be full of freedom through Jesus Christ. He makes all things new again.

When our hearts are captivated by His love, the desire for sin and the strength of its power begins to lessen. He can take any story and turn it around. You don't have to be ashamed, or afraid, of telling the truth. He already knows. He sees you and He loves you just the same. He loves me, in spite of where I've been and who I've been. He uses little things to grab my attention, to grab your attention. Listen to the Truth. Delight in His word. Run to Him. I am in awe of who He is and the way He continues to grab my heart. My prayer is that you allow Him to do the same. I promise you won't regret it. Nothing is greater than freedom in the Father. I apologize if my thought process is jumbled or unclear, all I can say is I found a book that opened my heart, but more than that, I am falling deeper and deeper into a love relationship with God. A relationship that is full of surprises, full of hope. I can't wait to see where He leads me next! I will end with this prayer.

I will run to You - the friend for the sinners. The Savior of my soul. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I start to give up on myself. I will run to You - the Truth. I will lose myself in the arms of Your faithfulness, the embrace of Your goodness. I will run to You - away from all the lies. I want to be wanted. You have always wanted me. Even before I knew you. I will run to you - the one who created me, the One who gives me life. You will reign, now and forever. I want to worship You for all of eternity. So, I will run to You - the One who gives me hope in the darkest moments.