the start of something new.

i am twenty years old... twenty years and four months. in the scheme of things; the bigger picture, that's relatively young. but i feel old. maybe its because for the first time in my life i am actually doing something huge on my own... going to school, not knowing one single person. which is something i probably should have done two years ago, but better late than never right? oh, and did i mention i'm living on my own. a cute cozy one bedroom apartment, which i love. responsible for paying my own bills, cooking for me and me alone, la la la. even went and had a job interview yesterday. it feels weird considering i've worked at bear country for six years, and i don't really think i even had to interview barely. its been a great job, but its also kind of been like a comfortable shell. as has following my friends my whole life. lets be honest here - friends are important. and when your family starts driving you insane - they are even more important. like a lifeline. but at some point you have to realize that while friends help shape who you are, they don't make up everything about you. you have to stand on your own to feet and own who you are as individual. and now is my chance. nobody knows who i am. where i've been. or what i've done. i am allowed to shape my the rest of my future, and its in my control - i don't have to follow anyone. ahhhh. i'm blabbing. i have a lot of thoughts in my head right now, i know that this is for the best but its really scary starting over half way through school. i feel like a freshman all over again, not knowing where things are on campus - trying to find my classes, ahhh. lol. but its exciting too. and i'm making my apartment feel like home and eventually it will. and it will be all mine. woot. alright. enough for now. maybe something more substantial will come in the future. lates.