There was once a certainty in the unknown -- dreams we dreamed without knowing if they'd ever come true. We were bound to be school teachers, firefighters, doctors, and laywers. We believed in what we couldn't know. We were young and naieve; it was what made us strong. There was no one to tell us "No," and if they did, we paid them no attention. We were who we were. We were stubborn and headstrong; we were determined and curious. There was once a time that we dreamed dreams because it was all we knew. We did what we wanted, and longed to grow into our imaginations.
They warned us we would wish to be young again. They told us things would change. We only saw certainty in the things we knew then. We couldn't possibly see the truth in the unknown. They told us we had our whole lives to grow up; they told us to enjoy being young. We didn't know how to listen. We couldn't listen. We thought we knew it all. They told us to enjoy it slowly. We only knew how to live fast -- too fast.
We were once reckless and free -- living in moments we thought would never fade. We acted impulsively, with stupidity and passion. There was no one to stop us; there was no one who could. We ignored the rules and made our own. We stole kisses in the night, pretended they had never happened in the morning. We danced until our legs were bound to break. We crossed locked fences and forgot to sleep. There was laughter and tears; there was tears from the laughter. We held hands and shared hugs, thinking it would never end. We were crazy for youth, oblivious to reality. There was once a world for us, untouched and protected.
They tell us we have to move on. They tell us that we will find others who understand us. We are still stubborn and determined. We tell them we will hold on -- forever, even if it kills us. The memories and secrets shared are enough to keep us together. Somewhere along the way we stopped being friends and became a family. We're growing up, but our hearts are still young. The dreams that we're dreaming will be shared. Distance is a challenge but not a deal-breaker. There is still a certainty in the unknown, because no matter where life takes we know we'll still have each other.
They tell us nothing can stay this great. We tell them they're right -- because it can only get better.
June 27, 2011
June 09, 2011
If Forever Was a Place.
You told me we could stay here forever.
We're lying in the bed of your '69 rusty red Chevrolet, on top of the blankets you brought. To keep us warm, you said. You get on top of me, and still, I'm shaking. You bring your lips slowly and softly down to mine. We're lying in the bed of your pick-up truck. I know what happens next. Even though I've never done it before, I know. My chills disappear along with my clothes. Your touch is tender and vigorous all at once. I breath in deep the smell of sweat. I close my eyes and feel you. This is what it's like to make love.
You told me we could stay here forever.
We're lying in an oversized king sized bed in some fancy hotel I can't remember the name of. The most romantic honeymoon spot in Europe, you said. All that matters is that you're mine forever. I kiss you like its the first time. I know what happens next. You make me fall in love with you, again and again. We laugh and talk about where we'll be ten years from now. How many kids we'll have. A big house in the country. We've always been dreamers. You kiss me and tell me you love me. This is what it's like to belong.
You told me we could stay here forever.
We're lying on our living room floor, paint covering our clothes. New paint can't fill the emptiness, you said. The kids are gone. We're alone again. You reach over and grab my hand. I want us to be us again. I squeeze your hand. I know what happens next. We will find each other, the way we did in the beginning. We will rediscover things we don't even know we've forgotten. We've lost some of the spark but none of the love. I tell you I want excitement again. You tell me I can have whatever I want. This is what it's like to know someone.
I tell you I will stay here forever.
You're lying on a stark white hospital bed, where you've been for the last three months. I'm going to be fine, you said. We both knew that was a lie. Cancer is a word people can't take lightly these days. I sit by your bedside. I tell you a story about a boy and a girl in a red Chevrolet. I tell you they are young and in love. I tell you their love will last forever. I know what happens next. I lean down and kiss you for the last time. I hear you take your last breath. We will meet again, I say. The tears roll slowly and softly down my cheek. This is what it's like to lose your love.
We're lying in the bed of your '69 rusty red Chevrolet, on top of the blankets you brought. To keep us warm, you said. You get on top of me, and still, I'm shaking. You bring your lips slowly and softly down to mine. We're lying in the bed of your pick-up truck. I know what happens next. Even though I've never done it before, I know. My chills disappear along with my clothes. Your touch is tender and vigorous all at once. I breath in deep the smell of sweat. I close my eyes and feel you. This is what it's like to make love.
You told me we could stay here forever.
We're lying in an oversized king sized bed in some fancy hotel I can't remember the name of. The most romantic honeymoon spot in Europe, you said. All that matters is that you're mine forever. I kiss you like its the first time. I know what happens next. You make me fall in love with you, again and again. We laugh and talk about where we'll be ten years from now. How many kids we'll have. A big house in the country. We've always been dreamers. You kiss me and tell me you love me. This is what it's like to belong.
You told me we could stay here forever.
We're lying on our living room floor, paint covering our clothes. New paint can't fill the emptiness, you said. The kids are gone. We're alone again. You reach over and grab my hand. I want us to be us again. I squeeze your hand. I know what happens next. We will find each other, the way we did in the beginning. We will rediscover things we don't even know we've forgotten. We've lost some of the spark but none of the love. I tell you I want excitement again. You tell me I can have whatever I want. This is what it's like to know someone.
I tell you I will stay here forever.
You're lying on a stark white hospital bed, where you've been for the last three months. I'm going to be fine, you said. We both knew that was a lie. Cancer is a word people can't take lightly these days. I sit by your bedside. I tell you a story about a boy and a girl in a red Chevrolet. I tell you they are young and in love. I tell you their love will last forever. I know what happens next. I lean down and kiss you for the last time. I hear you take your last breath. We will meet again, I say. The tears roll slowly and softly down my cheek. This is what it's like to lose your love.
June 06, 2011
Spelunking.
Here is where we find each other.
the forty-two acre landscape,
dotted by pine trees,
scarred from coals and
ash-covered tree branches
charred by campfires.
empty beer bottles hidden in the
overgrown grass, a shallow river
running over rocks.
behind there is the cave,
our private door to exploration.
there in the dark,
mud stains our clothes,
our inhibitions left at the door.
Here is where we find each other.
dust covered fingertips intertwine,
our lips lock - breathing in
musty air and the taste of saliva.
only sounds of singing birds,
wind circling through,
reaches our ears as
our tongues speak lullabies
to each other in silence.
out here - nature is our haven,
away from it all, we become one.
Here is where we find each other.
Was weeding through some of my old writing and I found this poem... November 2008
the forty-two acre landscape,
dotted by pine trees,
scarred from coals and
ash-covered tree branches
charred by campfires.
empty beer bottles hidden in the
overgrown grass, a shallow river
running over rocks.
behind there is the cave,
our private door to exploration.
there in the dark,
mud stains our clothes,
our inhibitions left at the door.
Here is where we find each other.
dust covered fingertips intertwine,
our lips lock - breathing in
musty air and the taste of saliva.
only sounds of singing birds,
wind circling through,
reaches our ears as
our tongues speak lullabies
to each other in silence.
out here - nature is our haven,
away from it all, we become one.
Here is where we find each other.
Was weeding through some of my old writing and I found this poem... November 2008
June 02, 2011
Fear Not.
Joshua 1:5-9 "No one will be able to oppose you successfully as long as you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will never neglect you or abandon you. Be strong and courageous, because you will help these people take possession of the land I swore to give their ancestors. Only be strong and courageous, faithfully doing everything in the teachings that my servant Moses commanded you. Then you will succeed wherever you go. Never stop reciting these teachings. You must think about them night and day so that you will faithfully do everything written in them. Only then will you prosper and succeed. I have commanded you, 'Be strong and courageous! Don't tremble or be terrified; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.'"
There is a battle that wages every day of our lives. It is not a battle between one country to the next. It is not the battle between you and your parents, you and your friends. It is not the battle to get up in the morning, to go to work, to be productive. This is a battle far greater than you and I will ever be able to understand. This is a battle of epic proportions. This is a battle between good and evil - and it's spiritual. This is a battle between our God and the lies of Satan and the world. And it happens every single day.
Every day you're alive Satan is fighting to take control of your heart -- to believe that what the world has to offer, what he has to offer, what you feel, is far greater than anything God could possibly ever give to you. Satan wants to deceive you. He wants to take every lie you believe, every fear, every doubt, every question and let them run your life. He wants your life. And he uses the your weak areas, the areas you're not willing to give to God, to gain precedence. He plays to our weaknesses. He gives us what we think we want. Turns out, we really don't know what we want at all. At least, not in the way we think we want it.
Every day you're alive, God stands at the front lines and battles the Prince of Darkness. Every day God showers us with blessings and the hope of His promises -- we just have to be willing to see them. He is fighting the battle for us, and all we have to do is trust that He's going to keep us alive. He will never let us down. He is strong when we're weak. He is loving when we're alone. He is faithful when we're not. He wants your life. And, if you let Him have it, He is going to win -- over and over and over again. He exceeds our expectations. He has nothing to prove, but He proves it anyway. He proves that He is love. He proves that He is faithful. He proves that He is strong. He proves that He has His hand in our lives, even if we don't believe it. He is the Author, and if you let Him hold the pen, He's going to make sure Satan is only a footnote in your redemption tale.
God uses Satan to point out the areas we need Him the most. And if we acknowledge that, we are simply set up with opportunities to see how God blesses us when we hand everything over to Him. There is a battle going on, but there is nothing you need to fear. All you have to do is call on God and He will be there. Be strong and courageous -- don't let the lies hinder you from seeing the Truth. Don't let the weight of the world disguise the beauty of our Savior. Don't let your emotions dictate your life, because they will lead you astray. Be strong and courageous -- believe in Him and what He says, for once He gives you a blessing it can never be taken away.
Find comfort in the word of the Lord -- meditate on it, day and night. Let Him be the focal point for every moment, every decision, every question. When He is at the center, you can trust that He will provide you with the wisdom and discernment you need to find the answer, to lean on Him and what He has to say, to follow where He leads. When He is at the center, no one will take your life, or any piece of it. When He is at the center, you will find that He actively intercedes according to His will because the fact of the matter is that He knows best and has a better ending than you could possibly envision for yourself.
There is a battle that wages every day of our lives. It is not a battle between one country to the next. It is not the battle between you and your parents, you and your friends. It is not the battle to get up in the morning, to go to work, to be productive. This is a battle far greater than you and I will ever be able to understand. This is a battle of epic proportions. This is a battle between good and evil - and it's spiritual. This is a battle between our God and the lies of Satan and the world. And it happens every single day.
Every day you're alive Satan is fighting to take control of your heart -- to believe that what the world has to offer, what he has to offer, what you feel, is far greater than anything God could possibly ever give to you. Satan wants to deceive you. He wants to take every lie you believe, every fear, every doubt, every question and let them run your life. He wants your life. And he uses the your weak areas, the areas you're not willing to give to God, to gain precedence. He plays to our weaknesses. He gives us what we think we want. Turns out, we really don't know what we want at all. At least, not in the way we think we want it.
Every day you're alive, God stands at the front lines and battles the Prince of Darkness. Every day God showers us with blessings and the hope of His promises -- we just have to be willing to see them. He is fighting the battle for us, and all we have to do is trust that He's going to keep us alive. He will never let us down. He is strong when we're weak. He is loving when we're alone. He is faithful when we're not. He wants your life. And, if you let Him have it, He is going to win -- over and over and over again. He exceeds our expectations. He has nothing to prove, but He proves it anyway. He proves that He is love. He proves that He is faithful. He proves that He is strong. He proves that He has His hand in our lives, even if we don't believe it. He is the Author, and if you let Him hold the pen, He's going to make sure Satan is only a footnote in your redemption tale.
God uses Satan to point out the areas we need Him the most. And if we acknowledge that, we are simply set up with opportunities to see how God blesses us when we hand everything over to Him. There is a battle going on, but there is nothing you need to fear. All you have to do is call on God and He will be there. Be strong and courageous -- don't let the lies hinder you from seeing the Truth. Don't let the weight of the world disguise the beauty of our Savior. Don't let your emotions dictate your life, because they will lead you astray. Be strong and courageous -- believe in Him and what He says, for once He gives you a blessing it can never be taken away.
Find comfort in the word of the Lord -- meditate on it, day and night. Let Him be the focal point for every moment, every decision, every question. When He is at the center, you can trust that He will provide you with the wisdom and discernment you need to find the answer, to lean on Him and what He has to say, to follow where He leads. When He is at the center, no one will take your life, or any piece of it. When He is at the center, you will find that He actively intercedes according to His will because the fact of the matter is that He knows best and has a better ending than you could possibly envision for yourself.
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