If Forever Was a Place.

You told me we could stay here forever.

We're lying in the bed of your '69 rusty red Chevrolet, on top of the blankets you brought. To keep us warm, you said. You get on top of me, and still, I'm shaking. You bring your lips slowly and softly down to mine. We're lying in the bed of your pick-up truck. I know what happens next. Even though I've never done it before, I know. My chills disappear along with my clothes. Your touch is tender and vigorous all at once. I breath in deep the smell of sweat. I close my eyes and feel you. This is what it's like to make love.

You told me we could stay here forever.

We're lying in an oversized king sized bed in some fancy hotel I can't remember the name of. The most romantic honeymoon spot in Europe, you said. All that matters is that you're mine forever. I kiss you like its the first time. I know what happens next. You make me fall in love with you, again and again. We laugh and talk about where we'll be ten years from now. How many kids we'll have. A big house in the country. We've always been dreamers. You kiss me and tell me you love me. This is what it's like to belong.

You told me we could stay here forever.

We're lying on our living room floor, paint covering our clothes. New paint can't fill the emptiness, you said. The kids are gone. We're alone again. You reach over and grab my hand. I want us to be us again. I squeeze your hand. I know what happens next. We will find each other, the way we did in the beginning. We will rediscover things we don't even know we've forgotten. We've lost some of the spark but none of the love. I tell you I want excitement again. You tell me I can have whatever I want. This is what it's like to know someone.

I tell you I will stay here forever.

You're lying on a stark white hospital bed, where you've been for the last three months. I'm going to be fine, you said. We both knew that was a lie. Cancer is a word people can't take lightly these days. I sit by your bedside. I tell you a story about a boy and a girl in a red Chevrolet. I tell you they are young and in love. I tell you their love will last forever. I know what happens next. I lean down and kiss you for the last time. I hear you take your last breath. We will meet again, I say. The tears roll slowly and softly down my cheek. This is what it's like to lose your love.