i'm just gonna take a minute...

Reminisce. Remember. Recollect.
Reflect on what has brought you to this moment.
Right here. Right now. Who are you?
And how did you become the person you are today?

we don’t just wake up one morning and decide – oh, now i’m going to be this way, without any rhyme or reason as to why. we develop over time. just as we develop from a child into an adolescent into an adult – we also develop who we are as individuals. and who we are is a reflection on what defines us. the elements of our past. the people. the places. the situations. the let-downs. the triumphs. the lessons… they all brought us to this moment. they are all responsible for who we are. and sometimes you need to take a step back and recall what influenced your present.

before i continue, allow me to clarify something: i am not saying to live in the past. i am simply asking that you appreciate how the past influenced who you are. so often i think we forget, or simply dismiss important elements of our lives. maybe because we no longer care, maybe because it is too painful, or maybe because we simply forget. things change. people, activities, and hobbies you used to find important change too, but don’t forget how those things used to make you feel. we all have parts of our past we would rather forget, but we shouldn’t. on the contrary we should embrace them…

live without regret. there are definitely parts of my past i’m not proud of, parts of my past that hurt to remember. i’ve lied. i’ve been lied to. i’ve hurt myself emotionally. i’ve hurt people i love. i’ve made bad choices. i’ve lost pieces of myself. i’ve held grudges. i’ve lost friendships. i’ve lived selfishly. i’ve cheated. i’ve behaved in a way not pleasing to God or myself. i’ve let people take advantage of me. i’ve made mistakes. i’ve lost loved ones. i’ve given in to temptation. i’ve had my heart broken. i’ve hurt myself physically. i’ve let things and people make up my self-worth. i’ve been dirty. i’ve been low… and i am thankful for every moment. every experience. every mistake. every person. because they brought me to today, to who i am.

last night at bible study, we had a heated discussion about how God creates us in His image – and how He wants the best for us. i won’t get into the opposing viewpoint, but the truth of the matter is this: i am God’s child. and my self-worth is defined through Him, not other people, not from my past, not from my works. my relationship with Him is the important thing. and God does not tempt me, God does not set things in front of me to hurt me. God gave me a free will, and i may choose to allow sin and pain to enter my life, but when i turn back to Him, He is always there. and i believe that God uses pain and suffering in our lives to bring us closer to Him, to teach us something.

i have no regrets because my past has taught me valuable life lessons. my past has brought me closer to God. my past holds within it people who changed my life, people i will remember for the rest of my life. my past holds pieces of who i was, who i am, and who i will always be. i carry those things with me and i hold them tight. because i am grateful for it all. i don’t dwell on the past, because i don’t think it’s healthy or beneficial, but i do think it is important to remember. because you can’t block out parts of your life. each piece is influential to who you are. ignoring a part of the puzzle gives you an incomplete picture, and the people who make up your life now, the people important to you now, deserve to see the whole picture – so let them. own your past, your present, and your future. it’s yours.