and this is what i do...

The memory blared in her mind like a siren that went on forever, proclaiming a never-ending catastrophe. Every time she saw him it shrieked louder, causing her temples to throb and her hands to sweat. She couldn't even concentrate on the smallest task...The memory took over her mind and she lost all control of remaining sane. Soon she was a walking zombie ignoring anything and everyone that crossed her path. Her friends couldn't reach her, for they had no idea what had taken place just weeks before.
After a month, her zombie-like characteristics changed into a drug fed craze. She lived and breathed any alcohol or drugs she could get her hands on. She stopped coming to class and instead starting spending her time with the other "potheads" and "partiers." The sweet, innocent girl that had once been was now the druggie; the senior class's student body president was now the girl in the back row lighting up and making out with her punk-rock boyfriend. The girl she once was…was no longer.
Her old friends watched her life slide downhill. From their point of view their was no hope. Nothing anyone could do to pull her out of the place she was in. And still they remained oblivious to the one person she had once trusted her heart and soul to. Until one day. One of the few days when she decided to grace everyone with her presence and come to class.
She had made it through half of second period when she decided she needed a cigarrette. She walked out of class, sat on an outside bench, and lit up. Her long brown hair blew back in the wind and her body chilled. The light blue tank top she was wearing did nothing to disguise her breasts, especially since she found it most comfortable to go without a bra. She had to tuck her short black skirt between her legs to keep it from flying up, yet she crossed her legs, exposing the black laced underwear beneath. As she sat there inhaling her nicotine he walked up and stood in front of her.
She hesitated for a moment and her lips quinched together. Then just as quickly her stone cold expression returned and she blew the smoke directly into his face. He tried to act like it didn’t faze him but in truth he was appalled. He couldn’t believe this was her, the girl he had once loved with all his heart. He barely recognized her at all. Yet he knew he was the one that had to talk to her and at least attempt to have her share what she was feeling. Still it was not going to be easy, he had no idea where to start, no idea what to say. He once could share everything with her and now he could barely say hello.
Finally he let it all out, everything he knew she needed to hear and everything he knew he needed to say. He told her he was sorry for doing what he did, treating her like a piece of ass around his friends and then being another way when they were alone. He told her that he didn’t know why he treated her that way, because he had never wanted to hurt her. She had meant the world to him and he had ruined that by one night when he had decided he had wanted it all. He told her he would die to take it all back, and to see her smile again. To be able to hold her in his arms and protect her without harming her. He apologized for taking so long to talk to her, but he was hurting too and he hadn’t known what to say.
It was the end of third period when he finally stopped talking. He was crying and he had taken a seat on the bench beside her, not close enough for contact, but close enough for her to hear his scattered breathing as he tried to get out all he had to say. She had stopped smoking her cigarrette and her heavy black eyeliner ran down her face. She tried to wipe it away but all that caused where huge black streaks. Her eyes were puffy and her hands were sweaty and inside her head…a soothing sound played. She had waited 3 months to hear those words and now that she had she felt a sort of peace, and yet at the same time panic. What did she say back?
She looked at him, and for the first time in 3 months…she smiled. A small smile that barely pushed up the corners of her mouth, accompianed by more and more tears. Her hands start to shake and she couldn’t control the way she was feeling. She wanted to yell at him so bad, just to punish him for all the pain she had gone through, but she couldn’t. All she could do was lay her head on his lap and cry. Cry; as he stroked her long brown hair and put his arms around her, taking away the wind’s cold and replacing it with his warmth.