he was leaning against the building; tall, broad shoulders, brown hair, no smile. his dark blue eyes stared intently at the crowd filing into the building for the big game... searching for someone in particular. he had no intention of entering that gymnasium. he was here to do one thing, and as soon as he had he was leaving. not only leaving the building…he was leaving the state. and he was never coming back. after tonight he doubted there would be anything left for him here. and that was the way it had to be. he crossed his arms and briefly looked at the ground. focusing on one area helped him not to lose it. he couldn't break down yet. not here. not now. not till it was over. he took a deep breath and raised his head. and that’s when he saw her.
she was walking towards him without a care in the world; her hair blowing gently back and her face radiant with a smile. he could hear her laugh and he winced. [he had always loved that laugh, loved hearing it, and now it was killing him to know he would probably never hear it again]. she was surrounded by friends on either side and they walked arm in arm. he knew them well and wished they would just vanish. but there they were. she looked from friend to friend, smiling big, and then slightly forward... and in that moment: she saw him. their eyes locked and immediately her smile evaporated. it was as if an unexpected storm cloud had suddenly enclosed the sun. the light was no longer able to escape and suddenly the night felt gloomier. she stopped in her tracks. her friends continued a step before realizing and turned to look at her. she simply stared. following her gaze they saw him. leaning against the building, looking as intimidating as ever and yet at the same time... completely vulnerable.
his heart was beating loudly inside his chest. this was it. it was time. he watched her whisper something to her friends; and then they squeezed her hand and continued toward the gym doors... passing him as they went they simply smiled out of pure habit. a smile merely given for lack of a better response. he didn't smile back. all he could do was stare at her as she gradually made her way towards him. when she reached him he didn't say a word. and neither did she. they were both terrified of what was to come. him, knowing what had to be said and she, fearing the unknown. he grabbed her hand and led her to his car.
and then he drove. and they sat in silence until the reached it. the spot. [over the years they had met here, time and time again. it was no place special, in fact it was nothing more than a public park… but they had memories here.] they both got out of the car and started to walk along the bike-path, as they always had. finally. he spoke.
“I’m leaving...”
there was a slight pause and deep sigh before she replied. “I know…”
they kept walking. [they had both known this day was going to come. they had known it for years. ever since he had decided to join the military. back when they were barely friends he had told her what he wanted to do with his life. at the time she had respected it and gave him congratulations in being so certain of his future. little did she know, little did they both know, how close they would become.]
“I don’t know what to say…” he whispered.
she didn’t know either. she had not been prepared to do this tonight. she had not thought about what to say, yet she didn’t know if any words were the right ones. she didn’t want to say good-bye to him… couldn’t say good-bye to him. he had become a part of her life she could count on… a friend who would always be there no matter how long it had been since they had last talked. he had always been there for her and now he was asking her to let him go. it was too much to ask and as the thoughts and memories ran through her head tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. she stopped walking and looked at him.
as he saw her tears more memories came flooding back to him of all the times she had cried. all the times he had held her… told her it was going to be okay. oh how beautiful she looked when she cried. and now… here they were again. but this time he couldn’t tell her it was going to be okay. he couldn’t give her a solution. he couldn’t offer her words of advice. this time they were both in the same boat and they were both completely miserable.
he did the only thing he could do. he took her into his arms and as he did he could hear her sobbing, feel her tears sink into his shirt and then tears began to fall from his own eyes. he had never thought what had started as an accquantaince through a mutual friend would turn into such a good friendship together. he regretted not hanging out with her more. [having different lives they had had a hard time getting together on a regular basis and a lot of times would go months without seeing each other. they had talked often… but it had never been quite what they wanted. but it was the best they could do and they had worked it out.] now he wished he had set aside all his prior obligations and had made it a priority to see her. little did he know the same thoughts were going through her head...
and so they sit there. in a park. holding on to the last moments they will probably ever share together. [a couple. long-time friends. family members. people who have been touched by another and are being asked to let go.] no, it is not easy. but…life does not give us what we want. on the contrary it often forces us to accept things we can hardly comprehend.
friends leave… after years of memories, of good times and bad, of sharing the laughter and the pain… they walk out of our lives for some reason or the next and leave behind footprints in our hearts.
people die… a plan in which only God can understand, sometimes we are asked to say good-bye to people before we are ready, before we think they are ready… but he knows, and he has a reason.
and then he drove. and they sat in silence until the reached it. the spot. [over the years they had met here, time and time again. it was no place special, in fact it was nothing more than a public park… but they had memories here.] they both got out of the car and started to walk along the bike-path, as they always had. finally. he spoke.
“I’m leaving...”
there was a slight pause and deep sigh before she replied. “I know…”
they kept walking. [they had both known this day was going to come. they had known it for years. ever since he had decided to join the military. back when they were barely friends he had told her what he wanted to do with his life. at the time she had respected it and gave him congratulations in being so certain of his future. little did she know, little did they both know, how close they would become.]
“I don’t know what to say…” he whispered.
she didn’t know either. she had not been prepared to do this tonight. she had not thought about what to say, yet she didn’t know if any words were the right ones. she didn’t want to say good-bye to him… couldn’t say good-bye to him. he had become a part of her life she could count on… a friend who would always be there no matter how long it had been since they had last talked. he had always been there for her and now he was asking her to let him go. it was too much to ask and as the thoughts and memories ran through her head tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. she stopped walking and looked at him.
as he saw her tears more memories came flooding back to him of all the times she had cried. all the times he had held her… told her it was going to be okay. oh how beautiful she looked when she cried. and now… here they were again. but this time he couldn’t tell her it was going to be okay. he couldn’t give her a solution. he couldn’t offer her words of advice. this time they were both in the same boat and they were both completely miserable.
he did the only thing he could do. he took her into his arms and as he did he could hear her sobbing, feel her tears sink into his shirt and then tears began to fall from his own eyes. he had never thought what had started as an accquantaince through a mutual friend would turn into such a good friendship together. he regretted not hanging out with her more. [having different lives they had had a hard time getting together on a regular basis and a lot of times would go months without seeing each other. they had talked often… but it had never been quite what they wanted. but it was the best they could do and they had worked it out.] now he wished he had set aside all his prior obligations and had made it a priority to see her. little did he know the same thoughts were going through her head...
and so they sit there. in a park. holding on to the last moments they will probably ever share together. [a couple. long-time friends. family members. people who have been touched by another and are being asked to let go.] no, it is not easy. but…life does not give us what we want. on the contrary it often forces us to accept things we can hardly comprehend.
friends leave… after years of memories, of good times and bad, of sharing the laughter and the pain… they walk out of our lives for some reason or the next and leave behind footprints in our hearts.
people die… a plan in which only God can understand, sometimes we are asked to say good-bye to people before we are ready, before we think they are ready… but he knows, and he has a reason.
life is full of introductions and good-byes. of happy beginnings and bittersweet endings. a “hello” is the start of brand new memories, and new experiences. a “good-bye” simply says thank you for everything and the times we will never forget. we can avoid neither… nor do we want to. it’s a cycle that shapes who we are… and who we’re going to become.
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