It wasn't that I had nothing to say; in fact, thoughts were bouncing around in my head like a hundred bouncy balls up and down on the hot cement... the cement where we were now lying, together, on his worn Buzz Lightyear beach towel, clad only in undergarments - thoroughly exposed. His is skin dark and vibrant, contrasting with white boxer briefs and sandy blonde hair. His wide blue eyes glow as he smiles, revealing those dimples I know so well.
He asks me why I'm so quiet, and I kiss him.
And then it begins again, the events that brought us here in the first place. The undeniable attraction that we both feel, and that I have felt for the past three years. And finally, he is here. He is mine. And this is our moment, our chance to have it all. I know that once it ends he will go back to his girlfriend, go back to his life, and he will pretend that he doesn't love me. But we both will know it is a lie. I love him. And not just a naive, butterfly kind of love, but the kind of love that hurts. That starts at my heart and ends at the pit of my stomach. Aching. Throbbing. Wanting. Bleeding. More. More. More.
He asks me to tell him what I am thinking.
I press my hands against his bare skin, and climb on. Is it only me, or do our bodies seem to perfectly align? Like this is meant to be. Only, I know it will end, and so I grab on. And together our bodies begin to make music against the sunlight. Chords of desperate longing, and passion. Notes cry out into the open air - clear and bright. An overture begging for definition, for the defiance of self and the presence of commitment. Oh, this is only the prelude, and every song has an ending, but that is no reason not to enjoy the music. Especially music as sweet as this. Skin on skin.
He tells me that he loves me, and he means it.
I know that he does. My heart responds within my chest; ba bump, ba bump. Growing louder until I swear its exposed. Another rhythm to the developing chorus. We are about to write the love story of our lives. A secret affair, or an open relationship? Only he will decide. But my love will not falter. It will continue to play loud and strong, up until the last movement, the last chord. And I will fade into the darkness holding on to the sweet taste of saliva, the feel of his hands along my body - intimacy in its rarest form, and true love. Whatever that may mean, undefinable as it seems, I know it exists.
I tell him to just hold me, and he does.
I close my eyes and wish for time to stop. To trap us forever, here and now... Forever against him, making love from sunrise to sunset, stopping only to catch our breath. The most beautiful song on repeat. For I found my one, my only, and in this moment, he is mine.
1 comment:
i need an i like button on here. have i said that before? because I've thought it before. =)
love you!
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