Chances are, most of us have been involved in platonic friendships in our lives: close, involved, non-sexual relationships with a member of the opposite sex. These friendships are rare and special, they provide a friendship that is not possible with members of the same sex. They are a breath of fresh air. And, they are often met with skepticism from others. You know, "There is no way you guys are 'Just Friends'" Or the constant inquiry - "Are you sure you don't like him?" It can start to become very frustrating, constantly trying to explain that you really are, just friends. Yes, platonic friendships are tricky. And some might simply deem that they are not possible, because, at some point, one person ends up falling for the other. I both agree and disagree with this statement.
I think that often times we start to question our feelings for the other person because of other people that doubt the relationship. When you are constantly having to deny you care about someone as more than a friend there is a part of you that second guesses yourself. We are just friends (aren't we?). If other people are questioning your platonic relationship, does that mean you should too? Do they see something you don't? Furthermore, when you become so close to a member of the opposite sex its hard not to entertain ideas that exceed beyond friendship. It's how we are programmed. Females are attracted to males, and males are attracted to females. (Yes, duh.) And obviously, when you come to trust someone so much in a friendship it is easy to wonder if you would be just as compatible as more than friends. There is a reason why you make great friends, so would you make great lovers? Hmm. :)
Throughout my lifetime, I have dealt with these kinds of questions on multiple occasions. In one example, a four year friendship actually did lead to both of us developing feelings for each other and taking things to the next level. Sometimes, it really does work for relationships to develop out of friendships. But, I ended up losing that person as a "significant other" (or whatever we were for the time being), and as a friend. Which brings another complication into the picture. If you do develop feelings for the other person, what do you do about it? You could risk the friendship for something more in hopes of finding something great, or... you could risk your relationship and lose it all. In that case, I'm not really sure its worth it. Often times, I think these rare friendships are worth more than risking losing them entirely. But, I guess thats your call.
And then, there are the friendships that really are just that - friendships. That person is someone you can count on. Someone you can call. Someone you can have fun with, just hang out, relax, chat, grab dinner. That person is someone special in your life. You always have a good time. On some level, you love them in a platonic way. And through this wonderful connection, you start to wonder if you have more feelings. In my thought process, often times I just think - they are such a good friend, maybe I should like them. But I think underneath it all, there is a reason why I am just friends with those boys. On some level, I know that it really wouldn't work out. But, that doesn't keep me from wondering. And I think that is only natural. Because sometimes things do reach the next level, sometimes best friends really do become more than friends.
But if it doesn't happen for you, stand strong. If you really are, "just friends" with a member of the opposite sex, know that its okay. Platonic relationships are possible, despite all the skepticism. I think that the people who constantly question you, are just jealous. :) So, stick up for your friendship. Delight in knowing that you are lucky enough to have a rare friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Friendships with the opposite sex give you something that your girlfriends or guy friends cannot, because males and females are different, and we correspond in different ways. And that is something to treasure. Sometimes, friends do turn into lovers. And sometimes, friends do remain friends. Either way, its a good thing. So delight in that.
I'm not really sure if this made sense... ha. But I have really been struggling with my past friendships with boys, and friendships in my present. Due to past situations, current situations, intricate conversations, and questioning motives, its hard not to wonder. Plus, a woman's brain is constantly going. Thanks God :) Just had to put some of this into written form. Any thoughts? Loves everyone.
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