Ruddy.

Growing up, I remember asking for a puppy every Christmas and birthday, and my brother did the same. We used to write it on our list and hand it to our parents, knowing they would say it wasn't going to happy but doing it anyway. We thought, someday, they would give in. As we started into our teenage years, however, the hope of that dream ever coming true began to decrease slowly... until we gave up. I went to college, and my childhood dream of having a puppy of my own seemed lost with my innocence and carefree days ... ha. But then, a new tactic came into play - the importance of a hunting dog. My brother and dad both being avid hunters, it seemed reasonable. Of course, I did my damn best to help the proceedings, because that meant a puppy would finally reside in our pet-less abode. This spring, the same week I came home for summer vacation, we brought home a black lab... Ruddy. The cutest thing you had ever seen. Even in the first couple weeks, he never whined at night, something very unusual for a pup who has just been taken away from his mother. He was amazing. Only peed inside twice, or so. Of course, it wasn't all fun and games... with a household of people unaccustomed to a pet, there were some adjustments to be made. Especially with four people with working schedules. At times, it was a hassle. But we survived. We played. We laughed. We scooped poop. We fell in love. He was everything we ever wanted, and more. Our own little romping pup of fun. As expected, training for hunting had to begin. So Ruddy went away to puppy school for three months, right when I went to college in August/September. He was able to come home on weekends, and I had the privilege of seeing him every time I made the trek back. Always full of life, and excited beyond belief to see me and anyone he encountered. Tail wagging, jumping and licking, he was a joy to come home to. A soft, cuddly, loving pup. Over thanksgiving I got to just cuddle with him, and I was so thrilled to come home for Christmas break knowing that he would be done with puppy school. A whole month of Ruddy!

Wednesday I got a call from my dad... he was at the vet with Ruddy. Ruddy had fallen over going to the bathroom, and my dad had to go over and pick him up. Obviously, he knew there was something wrong. The fear was that it would be hip problems, common amongst dogs/labs, etc. It wasn't, but what it was was much worse... Ruddy had torn the tendons in the knees of both of his back legs. How it happened, well, we will never know. The diagnosis continued to speak bad news... it would only get worse, and the only means of fixing it equals a six to seven thousand dollar surgery, three thousand plus for each leg. We can't afford that. And even if we could, for each leg Ruddy would have to stay still for 3 months to let him heal, and that's not fair either. I didn't know how bad it was until I got home today. My dad took him out to pee and kept holding up his left leg. Needless to say, its not good. We've all been crying all day. I sat with him on his rug for a long time, and he put his paws and his head on my lap, and I lost it. Just looking at him breaks your heart. Because our only option is to put him down... sooner or later, most likely sooner because its just going to get worse until he won't be able to go to the bathroom anymore.

It doesn't make sense you know? We waited so long to get a puppy and made sure it was what we wanted to do... my dad checked out the guy he got it from, and the pedigree for the mother was good. Ruddy was even born on my Aunt's birthday... we thought for sure that was a blessing from God. Now, it looks like he will be going to join my Aunt in heaven. I really don't understand. He is the most well behaved, loving dog ever. (okay, i realize most people would say that about their dogs... but at least, if you're a dog lover you understand). I just fell in love with him and now he's going to be taken away. And he's so happy, and acts so normal in all other aspects that its just so surreal. Blah. Idk when this is going to happen, but my whole family could use some prayers. I can't even imagine people who have had their dogs for years and years, except maybe this would be easier if he had lived a long life... he's just a puppy. He's not even a year old... how can this be happening? I love my little Ruddy-dog. I love him so much. And this sucks...