SOS

Romans 8:26 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

I am beyond words right now. I have reached the point where I am just crying out - just asking for help. All week I have been trying to have a positive attitude about being here, in order to make it through this year as smoothly as possible - and tonight, shit just hit the fan, to put it bluntly. And then here I am again at a loss, not knowing what to do, completely miserable and upset. I am not a mean person, and for one night I stood up for myself and told my roommates I didn't want them to have people over and they get so pissed. Its like we're back in middle school - they turned their music on as loud as it could go so me and my friend couldn't hear what we were watching on TV. I cannot take it anymore. Cannot sit by and not say anything. Cannot handle the drinking night after night. The loud noises. The constant partying, the smoking weed. I feel like I'm trapped inside this bubble and I can't even think because of everything going on around me. It's like I can't even be my own person because I just feel like I'm being brought down, and I'm not allowed to care.

I need God to help me, I need Him to intercede and provide a solution. If that is getting out of this lease then I hope that it is made possible to do... because I can't take it anymore. I know He has a purpose for everything, and an answer for everything. And I just think I've had enough. I'm at my breaking point and I just can't do anything more on my own. I need Him so much. And I know whatever happens next isn't going to be easy, but I'm just going to trust that I'm going to get through this. With a lot of prayer, and a lot of searching I know I can make it. I am putting my trust in God to lead me to where I am supposed to be next... until then, I'm gonna keep pushing forward. Or at least giving it my best effort.