i'm falling on my knees, offering all of me.

i don't know entirely what to say right now except... wow.
all day i've felt very empty and discontent. i know that i want God back in the center of my life. i know that i'm just not complete without Him.

i ended up listening to christian music all day, and then i rented Fireproof. if you haven't seen it - i highly recommend that you go out and rent it as soon as you possibly can. it moved me to tears. all it made me think of is how wonderful God's blessings are when we just put our trust in Him - fully, not half-heartedly. even in the midst of the most hopeless circumstances He is working, and He is waiting for us to trust Him. He uses the people and the things in our lives to prick at our hearts. to get our attention. i felt that even though the movie centers on a married couple and their relationship, and i am not in that situation at all... i felt like God was speaking to me. i feel like lately He has been tugging on my heart, just asking me to open up to Him again, and i've been pushing Him aside. and little by little He has been getting ready to intercede. and intercede He certainly did...

Romans 5: 3-5 : We rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not dissapoint us because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

i know God is surrounding me with His love right now, and is reaching out to hold my hand and lead me in the right direction. i intend on following Him to the best of my abilities. i know i'm going to keep screwing up, but i'm going to start falling on Him again. i want to have joy again. i want to have peace. i want to accept His mercy. i want His unconditional love. He alone is our God, my God, and i need to put Him back in the center of my life where He belongs.