keep your head above water...

... but don't forget to breathe.

2 Corinthians 4:16 - "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

this is one of those WOW verses. the kind that finds you in the perfect moment. and, tonight this one found me. and so i wanted to share it. because today, was one of those days. lately, i've been having a lot of those days. i've been struggling with some key things God has placed on my heart, and what to make of them. i've tried removing distractions. i've prayed. i've cried. i've questioned. and at the end of the day i'm still unsure of an answer - uncertain of God's answer, God's will. i'm going to be honest, it's really frustrating. and after awhile it starts to become draining. i know holding onto God is supposed to bring joy, and peace, and understanding. but at the same time it's not meant to be easy. sometimes, it is really really hard.

God is overwhelming, discerning His voice seems like a test. like how can you really be sure that what you are hearing is God or just yourself on a subconcious level? He knows all, and yet our minds can come nowhere close to understanding. He only gives us glimpses, as we choose day by day to follow Him. and in this choice - we do not lose heart. or faith. digressing a little, i find it interesting to look up alternate versions of verses that i enjoy. when i looked up this verse there was a varying list for the words "wasting away" : decaying, wearing out, perishing, weariness, corrupted, consumed, wasted, dying. all of these signify struggle. the weight upon our shoulders, the warning of destruction, the consequences of the world, the imperfections of ourselves. but the word "renewed" seemed to remain constant through practically all the translations. so, i looked it up. in the dictionary it means the following: to make new, to restore, to revive, to replenish, to bring into being again. with that in mind, God restores us every day we choose to run to Him. He revives our hearts. He replenishes our souls. He brings into being again our intimate relationship with Him. He brings us life. He brings us hope. He is always only a step away.

choosing to live for God is not easy. desiring to adhere to His will is not without challenges. having a relationship with Jesus is not a smooth road. but we have to choose to move forward anyway. to keep calling out to Him, especially in the midst of confusion and discouragement. i have faults. i have questions. but, there is light in the little things. like a simple verse on a challenging day - suddenly, it's not so simple. suddenly you see it - the beauty and the awe-inspiring power of God, the promises of His word, the joy of His love.

2 Corinthians 4:16 "Therefore - because of this GRACE, we faint not. The flesh rots away but the spirit of Jesus, which lives within us, is restored."