you made me feel like a harbour.

i will hide out and here and pretend we are the same people we were so many years before. i will crawl inside of my heart and act like nothing has changed.

you are greater than you know. more influential than you will ever understand. you take the simplest things and make them beautiful. you know the perfect things to say. you know the perfect song to send. you have shattered my expectations. you have made it impossible to believe i will ever find the perfect man. boy, i will always compare everyone to you. and i'm afraid no one will ever measure up. how does a friendship capture all my needs? everything i could ever want? we know it is complicated. we know it is unexplainable. but somehow, it seems perfect. you made me feel like a fortress. friends come and go. you stay. year after year, break-up after breakdown, love after loss, outburst after silence. you never fade. you never falter. you are talent. you are heart. you are a man - after God. following, and searching. falling and getting back up again. you're not afraid to fail. you're not afraid to change your mind. you go after what you want. you're ambitious and full of life. you make me want to be better. in a way, i believe i am better because of you. you rescued me. at least for a little while anyway. the scary part is not what we are, but what we will someday cease to be. i want to be selfish and hold on forever. like casper, i'm asking - "can i keep you?" i want to be friends forever. but that is unlikely. and i will survive... years from now i will look back, and see the beginning of what it means to love unconditionally. i saw "i love you's" all over the place. the ability to hang on, even when the world was screaming to let go. making time, even in the midst of chaos. understanding, when no one else did. driving around at two in the morning, simply to be there - to talk, to breathe. we play around and talk aloud, but underneath there is something unique. something irreplaceable. like the world's tallest self-supporting tower. we could stand forever, unmoved, and unchanged. we could hold on forever. would you hold me forever? lets dive deeper. towards the unknown, away from reality. i want to run away and never look back. trapped forever inside this world with you... but it will shatter. all good things do. they break. they falter. they become memories we love but can no longer grasp. still pictures hung in our minds, collecting dust, begging to forget. before you, was a concrete heart. and after, the same.