me as a girl

i am not the girl who will come hook up with you at two o'clock in the morning. i am not here to be used only when you feel the need to have some fun. i am not easy. i do not just kiss any guy that feels he wants to kiss me at any moment. i do care. despite the fact that i have made mistakes in the past... i do value myself and the choices i make.
i am not the girl who doesn't care. i care a lot... if only people who give me a chance to listen.
i am not the girl who begs to have her heart broken time and time again. i do not have a sign on my head that says, please take my heart and step on it. thanks! yet my past would suggest otherwise and no one yet has wanted to break that stereotype... i'm still waiting.
i am not a huge partier. yes, i have drank on occasion... but that does not mean i am a bad person. that just means i am one way... while someone might be a different way. its not something that defines me, in fact i live perfectly great without it. but bottom line: if it happens... it happens. end of story. end of discussion.
i am the girl who doesn't even understand herself...
i have the ability to play things off like i am not surprised and take them as best i can. inside i may be screaming with anger and confusion... but i like to pretend i can stay calm. even if it ends up failing miserably in the end.
i cry a lot. over big things, over little things. for some people, there are very few who have seen them cry... for me. the numbers are large. if you know me somewhat well... i'm sure you have seen my tears.
i want to find that one guy. the one who knows how to calm me down. the one that makes me cry less. the one who loves me for me... past, present... and will always love me in the future. i want to be "the girl" to someone.
i pretend i don't care what people think... but inside i do sometimes.
i like to write forever. i write until i get it all out... no matter what time it is. no matter if i have to work 6 hours from now, and its the early hours of the morning. i have to let it out... or else sleep is pointless.
i'm like to be lazy every once in a while. stay in my pajamas all day and curl up with a good book and watch tv. drink some coffee and just do nothing.
yes... i am the girl who loves coffee. who, in fact more accurately, is addicted to coffee.
i am the girl who doesn't understand why friends hurt you. why they abandon you at times when you need them the most... and why they leave you to put together the pieces with no picture to follow.
i think to be a christian is to love people no matter where they're at. i know i don't always succeed at that aspect, but i for sure try really hard because i know how bad it hurts to have people walk away when you do something they don't understand.

i am just a girl
i have been hurt... time and time again. and it keeps coming.
i love to laugh. i love to spend time with my friends. i love feeling happy and content.
if you want to know who i am... just spend time with me. don't listen to what he said, or she said... because chances are its not entirely that way. the only way you get to know someone is by spending time with them...

i am just a girl. get to know me.