this road...

if you want to get away... the road doesn't have to end. it can keep on going, and going... as far away as you wish. just keep driving. stop when you feel safe. until then... keep driving. drive and let the tears fall. with eyes hidden behind big sunglasses, no one willl ever notice...

its hard to find a safe place when you don't have anywhere to go. i am so lost and confused lately. and more than anything i'm hurting. i go through the days... and i smile. but inside i feel like i'm dying. i don't know where to turn. the people i once thought to be my support system and my encouragement now appear to me as strangers who don't seem interested in spending time with me... and the people i want to spend time with, don't seem to have the time for me....

i miss my auntie karen. today there was a notebook on the kitchen table... and being the nosy person that i am, i opened it. it was my mom's journal and i flipped to a page about HER. i read it and i just started crying. thats all i do lately. it doesn't matter what i'm doing, where i'm going, how i think i'm feeling. i just cry. yesterday my mom asked me to meet my dad to get new tires on my car... i walked out of the house and started bawling. i can't help it. i'm hurting so bad and i feel like i have no where to turn. no one to hear my cry.

God, what am i suppossed to do??? this isn't getting any easier. i seem to have lost sight of things i once held close in my life and i don't know how to get back. i'm on this road, all by myself... and i don't know which way to turn.

i need direction... i need help...