Conversation with the Devil.

I want to eat it. Don't eat it. But I'm hungry. Yeah, Hungry and Fat. I want to eat it. Make sure you throw it up afterwards. I will. I promise I will. I can do that now. It's easy. I told you it would be. I don't even have to stick my finger down my throat anymore. I know. I never knew it could be this way. Now do you get it? If you want something, do whatever it takes to get it. I want to be skinny. I want to be pretty. I want to be acceptable. I want to be what they want. I want to be loved. Will being skinny find me love? Yes. Don't give up now. I don't think I can. I never knew it could be this easy. I even threw up at work the other day. No one knew. No one has to know. I'm scared. Don't be. What about my health. You're fine. What about my body. It's getting better. What if someone finds out. They won't care. They won't be able to stop you.

I look in the mirror. I look in the mirror every day. What do you see? I see inadequacy. I see ugliness. I see too much skin. Your stomach needs work. I know. Work harder. Eat less. Run more. How much do you care about your body? I care. I promise I care. I try and I try but it's never enough. You have to keep it up. I'm trying. You can be better. I'm trying. You can be thinner. I'm trying. You can be loved. I want to be. Is this going to be enough? Yes. This will get you where you want to go. I'm never enough. I know. No one ever holds on. I know. No one wants to keep me. I know. No one has loved me, really loved me. I know. Why? You're not what they want. You have to be what they want. What if I don't want to be that? What if I just want to be me... You aren't good enough, as you. You have to change. God says I'm perfect the way I am, perfect as He made me. Yea, well God lies.