He is for you.

"Don't bear trouble, use it. Take whatever happens - justice or injustice, pleasure and pain, compliment and criticism. Take it up into the purpose of your life and make something out of it. Turn it into a testimony."

There will always be people in this world who are for you and people who are against you. There will be people who start off as your friends and who will turn into your enemies. In the same way, you will find that some of your enemies turn into the best of friends. People change and people surprise you. When I was in middle school I had a friend. We swore up and down to our parents that we were going to be "best friends forever." We were going to live next to each other. And be in each others weddings. And have kids at the same time. Nothing was going to tear us apart... I can't remember the last time I hung out with her. We both grew up and went separate directions. And I will always love her but you can't count on people to be there "forever." Because people drift apart, no matter how much you wish it wouldn't happen - it does. But there is someone you can count on.

God will always be your friend - your best friend, forever and ever. And unlike people, God will always be for you. He has your best interests at heart. He is holding you in His arms. He is walking by your side. He has a purpose and a plan. In the depths of the darkness that you face, know that God is fighting for you. All you have to do is choose to fight with Him. Choose God. And I assure you that you will find peace in whatever situation that comes your way. Even if you don't have the answers, you will find calm in the journey. Because you're not alone.

I had a small breakdown this past weekend. And by small, I mean quite large. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't want to get out of bed. In an apartment with two other people, I felt alone. I was upset with God. I didn't understand how being here could be so great for my faith and so trying. And what I mean by that is this -- Transferring to Colorado was a God thing. Completely. And since I have been here I have grown closer to God than I could have ever imagined. I have experienced highs and lows but through it all I have seen Him come closer to me. I have learned more about who He is and who I am through Him. I feel spiritually fed at church. But on the other hand, I feel like my spiritual growth has taken place completely on my own. I don't have friends here that I can run to when my world is falling apart. I don't have friends here where I can share the deepest and scariest parts of my faith - the places I'm not proud of, my weaknesses, the moments I want to hide from the world. My roommates and I started a Bible Study this semester and yet I feel like our relationship is so superficial. I feel that there is no depth. So how do you balance that? The blessings with the loneliness. The promise with the suffering. The answers with the questions.

I skipped my classes Monday and Tuesday and I went home. I needed encouragement. I needed family. I needed a hug. I needed comfort. I needed someone to reassure me. I needed someone to come alongside me and reitterate the promises of God. My mother and father stepped in and were there when I needed to know I wasn't alone. They gave me an outlet. But they also encouraged me in regards the One who has never let me go. I am never alone. Even when I am at school and I feel like I have no one to turn to -- I have Jesus. He is listening. He is always listening.

I have been listening to a sermon series from Mars Hill Church on Philippians entitled "The Rebel's Guide to Joy." Today I listened to the third one in the series, "Joy in Suffering." And the main thing I took away from it is this: There is going to be suffering in life. To live is to suffer. But you have a choice, will you suffer in a way that is purposeful or purposeless? God wants to use my feelings of inadequacy. He wants to use my loneliness. He wants to be there when I'm crying. He also doesn't want any of that to be in vain. God can work in and through me. I believe that with all my heart. He has been teaching me so much lately, even in the past few days, and I competely believe that as long I continue to give Him everything He will guide me through it all... Have faith. Have hope. Keep fighting to live a life beside the One who has already saved you.