Be Thou My Vision.

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

all else but naught to me, save that thou art;

thou my best thought by the day by night,

waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.

Sometimes you can just feel it. The presence of God. The continuing prick on your heart - the prick that causes you to question, to wonder, to desire to fall deeper and deeper in Love with Him. I have been feeling God a lot lately... I have been yearning for Him... and, it never ceases to amaze what He puts in front of me. In my Art of Persuasion class we have been talking about absolute truths. The general consensus of my very liberal class of peers is that - there are no abslolute truths. Today, we even ventured so far as to talk about God. And my teacher posed this question: If there are no absolutes, what's the point? As I'm sitting there thinking - There is no point, one of my peers raised her hand and said this:

"I used to go to church. I used to believe in God.
Until I came to college and realized that what I believed was false.

And, at first it was disheartening, but eventually I got over it.

I'm still alive. When I wake up in the morning, it doesn't matter

if Jesus loves me. It doesn't matter. Because I'm still

responsible of getting out of bed. I'm not going to keep my job

just because Jesus loves me. That's on me."

I can't even explain the immediate rush of emotion that came over me. It was like I had been personally attacked. My God, My Jesus - the one I loved so much, reduced to no significance. In the same breath, I wanted to cry. For this girl. For the corruption of the education system and the people who conduct it. Who has the right to dismantle someone's beliefs? Who has the right to tell a student what is and isn't true? How can a student walk into a classroom believing in God and come out not believing at all? My teacher also spoke to that. She said it's something that happens a lot. It's hard to teach these concepts because students are subject to become depressed. They believe something their whole life, and the academy rips that apart. The solution: Well, at first it sucks. But, eventually you get over it. You realize there is still meaning out there somewhere - and you're responsible for finding it.

Maybe, I just don't understand. I have believed in God my whole life. But, that doesn't mean I haven't gone through periods of my life where I put Him on the shelf. Where I believe that I could do it on my own. I could find significance on my own. I could make my own decisions. I could follow my own plan. And, it would all turn out okay. Because, I was in control. Let me tell you - Those were some dark days. Sure, they were fun. But, they were very irresponsible and careless. At the end of the day, when your plan falls apart, where do you run to? If you don't have the answers and if your friends don't have the answers, who does? It's terrifying to walk alone and wake up one day and realize that you have absolutely no clue what you're doing.

I run back to God because He does love me. He loves me and that gives me a reason to hold onto Hope. If I didn't believe in God... I don't believe I would be here. We all need to know there something outside ourselves that gives us significance right? If there are no absolute truths, than where does that leave us... where does that leave our world... where does that leave our future... It's scary to think about. If there is no purpose, if there is no recognized truth, than why are we even here?

"There is no question that a part of what we believe as Christians is that Jesus was in fact God. We cling to this TRUTH, we cling to that which we do not understand... and, as Jesus looks across the social landscape into [our] fear-filled eyes, He does not offer a formula that will help us win the game. He offers Himself... If there is any hope for you and me, for this planet kelter in the fifteen-billion lightyear expanse of endless, the hope would have to be in this MAN who contends HE is not of us, but WITH us, and simply IS. I AM WHO I AM."

If not God, than what. If not Hope, than what. If not truth, than what. If not love, than what. If not answers, than what. I may not understand God. I may not be able to explain the Bible, or all His promises, or all His teachings. I may not understand how God is who He is. But believing in Him, and accepting the unanswered for questions for what they are in hopes of having someone to hold onto who will always love me, and who will always be there, someone who fulfills His promises, someone who forgives me, someone who tells me I am significant - well, that seems a lot better than believing in nothing at all.