between the pages.

"Every human being has

this need for something

outside himself to tell

him who he is."

- Donald Miller, Searching

For God Knows What

[this is my lovely journal.

it makes me happy. most of its contents

are hidden from the rest of the world.

unlike this blog - my journal is raw.

but, for just today, here is an entry

from my lovely journal.]

Where is significance found? Where is it hiding? Is the secret hidden in between the pages of magazines, in the subliminal messages of popular TV shows, amidst text-books and classic literature, underneath the most favorite of song lyrics? Is the secret within others, or is it within ourselves? What makes us who we are? What makes us individual, and unique, and separate from the rest of the world? How do we reach the place of owning our supposed slef - who we create ourselves to be. Or, think we are.

There is the presence of the "everyday self" - the self we appear to be and the self others perceive us as. There is a facade. But, it is safe here. It makes us believe that our world is safe, that it is comfortable, and that we are accepted and adequate entities of this world. Our everday self does the right thing, says the right thing, acts according to social norms and expectations, and lives an average, happy life. Our everyday self is content because that is the appearance it evokes. We don't want to be "other", we don't want to stand out, we just want to live - peacefully.

Reality check: We are not our everyday selves. We are so much more. But do we admit/show that to other people? Do we acknowledge it to ourselves? Or, do we hide? Do we pretend all the things underneath the surface are insignificant? We shouldn't. Because, those things are more significant than our "everyday self". That is what makes us unique. That is what makes us stand out from the crowd. That is worthy of knowing. Of seeing. Of hearing.

We all have secrets. We all have hidden parts of who we are. Why are afraid of showing our true colors? If it is a fear of not being loved and accepted - those people probably weren't worth it anyway. They don't deserve to see your "true self". But, trust me. There are people who will love you for those parts of you. In fact, there are people who already do. Those rare friendships. Those intimate conversations. The connections you can't explain. The people you trust without really knowing why...

What are we afraid of? Life is too short to fear the reactions of other people. Stand on your own two feet. Speak. Be who you are. Tell the truth. Reveal a secret. You might be surprised how well it is received. You might be surprised by the relationships that are formed because of it. People will surprise you if you give them a chance to see your "true self." And, you might surprise yourself in the process.

Back to the issue of significance - THere is only ONE who will love us for every single part of ourself, true or everyday. Wholeheartedly, without condition, without failing, without questions, never-ending, unconditional, and without judgement. That ONE is God. (I'm not trying to preach to you. But acknowledge this.) He made us. He created us significant. From the moment we were born, we meant something to Him. He will never be surprised by what we repress to others - He already knows. He knows our heart. He loves us. He believes in us. He sees us as more than accepted - He sees us as treasured. We can find signficance in Him. We can find the answers.

But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't give others a chance. God did not intend for us to walk through this life alone. So be real. Stop being afraid. Bear your "true self" instead of your "everyday self". Be willing to take a risk. Reveal a secret, or two. Let someone in. Let God in.